Think, Think, Think

Hey All,

It’s been over a year since I’ve posted anything here and a week since the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary. I’ll get into my prolonged absence in a later post but for now I’d like to focus on the way we process, grieve, and respond to this abhorrent event. As always this is one dude’s opinion based on and rooted in my experiences, strengths, weakness, hopes, and fears. While I’ll do my best to minimize my weaknesses and fears I’m certain that some will slip through so I ask that you be mindful of that possibility which happily brings me to my request for all of us during this time: Think!

Think for yourselves. Think about what you are hearing. Think about your responses to what you’re hearing. Think about what you are saying. Think before a word forms on your tongue. Think about why you are saying it. Think about the person saying what you’re hearing. Think about the beliefs you purport to hold. Think about the meaning of the words you are saying. Think about whether or not what you’re about to do or say is helpful or not. Think about the context you inhabit. Think about what is going on in the world. Think about your part in the goings on of the world. Think about your actions. Think about your motives. In the words of my father: Think Dammit!

Way too often I just let the words fall right out of my mouth without thought or care to the far reaching implications of what I’m saying. When my thoughtless or careless words are held back up to me by someone I get fussy. I was just blowing off steam. I didn’t mean it like that! That was not my intention! That’s taken out of context. I didn’t think…

What we say matters. How we speak about things matter. The words we use effect how what we are saying will be received. Some of the folks who started reading this bristled at and may even no longer be with us because of the last word of paragraph two. What we post, blog, or tweet is a reflection of our true selves. How we conduct ourselves affects the world around us. The cold reality is that we really do love others as we love ourselves. How we treat people, how we react and respond to the world around us is a tethered to the anchor of how view we have ourselves and the baggage we lug around with us. To be aware of that is to be given the choice to take responsibility for yourself.

Have a good one,

Carl

Outcasts, Mercy, and God's Grace

Hey All,

In Genesis 25 we have the final account of Ishmael’s life and death. The writer is tying up the loose ends of Abraham’s life and is preparing to move onto Isaac. What we see in verses 12-18 is that God fulfilled the promise given to Hagar in Gen 21:18 “…I will make him into a great nation.” I see a lot of hope in the life of Ishmael because he was, in the Hebrew tradition, cast out. It was made clear that Isaac was the child of promise and that Ishmael was not, and yet God still cares for him. Even though God’s people had cast Ishmael out God had not.  What I see time and time again in scripture is God’s concern for the outcast, the misfit, the trickster, the poor, and the oppressed.

It is this Divine concern that compels me to take the view that I ought to follow suit in my views, perspectives, and stances so that they to have an eye for these folks. I also believe I should have that bias  because I to was once a misfit, outcast, trickster, poor, and oppressed. And in some ways I still am these things albeit in different ways. In any case, I’ve found it important in my striving towards the will of God to never forget where I came from and to never forget the sin the rages still in my heart. By this I intend to, as Bonhoeffer puts it in his book Life Together, live under the Cross:

Anybody who lives beneath the Cross and who has discerned in the Cross of Jesus the utter wickedness of all men and of his own heart will find there is no sin that can ever be alien to him. Anybody who has been horrified by the dreadfulness of his own sin that nailed Jesus to the Cross will no longer be horrified by even the rankest sins of a brother. He knows how utterly lost it is in sin and weakness, how it goes astray in the ways of sin, and he also knows that it is accepted in grace and mercy.

I am more inclined towards mercy and grace and remaining open to the folks around me when I remember just how merciful, graceful, and open God is to me.

This does not mean I dwell on the past in sackcloth britches tossing ashes on my head. Rather, living under cross compels me to move forward, learn what it means to live a life of love, and listen to the stories, experiences, and travelogues in weakness and defeat, strength and triumph of others. I get to stop grasping at the meaningless, fleeting things of this world, and instead hunker down on the call to love God, neighbors, and enemies and enjoy the spread that the Lord of the Banquet has put on.

Have a good one,

Carl

Grace, Bird Flipping, and Working Out Salvation

Hey All,

Last week I waded into Galatians 5 and this bit drew my attention:

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

The freedom we have by the grace of God is mind-boggling. It covers warts and all. The grace of God is so freely given that I am free to do as I please. There are consequences in how I use that freedom but I am free to choose. This freedom is what a healthy loving relationship requires. For us to be in truly healthy relationships with God and others; we all (God included) must be free to be ourselves absolutely. The love I have for others cannot be hinged on potential, abilities, wants, or worth. Thomas Merton says:

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

I strive for a love that is unconditional. I strive for this because as Christ said in John 5.19: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” Christ is stating that he only does what he sees God doing. As a part of the body of Christ I feel compelled to follow suit. I see that God loves us in this unconditional way because in 1 John 4:16 we are told that God is Love and the unconditional nature of Love is described in 1 Corinthians 13:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

We see this played out in Psalm 139 and Luke 12.   I believe that as a Christian I am to love in the same way.  Christians are to love one another unconditionally. Christians are to love one another (neighbors, enemies, God, everyone) for exactly who we are right now. Not who I think they should be. Not who I think they could be. Not who I think they ought to be. I am to love who they are right now in this moment in this place with this very breath. We are precious creations of God. There will never be another one of us. We’re it. In the entire span of the 93 billion light years across universe I am the only one God has made to be me. God loves me for exactly who I am. If God Almighty finds me to be worthy of love, grace, and acceptance who am I to say any different?

The same goes for the folks around me. There will never be another one of them. They’re it. In the entire span of the 93 billion light years across universe they are the only ones God has made to be them. God loves them for exactly who they are. If God Almighty finds them to be worthy of love, grace, and acceptance who am I to say any different?

I believe this, it is a foundational belief, I hold this belief tightly…until a kid leans out his car window and yells at me for some perceived misstep in traffic etiquette. Then this belief is dropped so I can free my hands up to flip the kid off for having the audacity to yell at me.

How can this canyon between my actions and my beliefs exist?  Before this weekend I can’t tell you the last time I flipped someone off in anger. I wish I could tell you that it was worth it, a use of the bird so effective that it would’ve made Maverick and Goose proud. It would not have. It was silly. I felt a bit bad about having flipped him off. I was glad to see some progress in my reactions. I used to do far worse in similar situations. I looked at my motives and emotions in the fleeting seconds of the event and saw that I was afraid of his display of dominance, and wanting to assert my own manliness, I reacted. 

I reacted as if his display could’ve taken my self worth or status as a creation of God from me. This is foolish, no one can take away my self worth or my standing in God’s eyes. I’ve been known to hand those things away willingly more than a time or two but no one has ever taken them from me. The question for me then becomes what led up to this event and how was I doing emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

If I rewind the tape of the day a bit, I see a rather taxing financial conversation with my wife. Not an argument or anything like that in the least, just a hard conversation no matter how well you’re doing. I was emotionally spent having held it together throughout our financial discussion. I had not taken the time to prayerfully prepare for the day. I had offered up some cursory prayers, you know just enough to assuage the lingering religious guilt, and as a result my spiritual well being was definitely at risk. Physically, I was hungry and on my way to lunch on the main road in our town which is always heavily congested (by small Midwestern city standards) which is frustrating.

I look at those things, see that I was primed for an over reaction, and remember H.A.L.T.: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. If I’m any of those things I do well to stop what I’m doing, if only for a few seconds, take some deep breaths, say the Serenity Prayer right quick, and think about my plan of action to rectify this quickly and in a healthy manner. Had I done that, before walking out the door to go to lunch, things may have gone differently.

When I remember that God has already found me worthy of love, grace, and acceptance I can see that my self worth is an inside job. I think this is what Paul is pointing to in Philippians 2.12 when he tells the Philippians to “…work out your own salvation…” I don’t earn my salvation. I am, however, responsible for my acceptance of salvation and sorting out what that means for my day-to-day life. Because of this I can look at my actions, without fear or shame, examine what went sideways and what went okay. Where I improved and where I fell short and what I can do in the future to prevent it from happening again.

For me, this seems to be one of the benefits of grace and salvation. I don’t have to hide my missteps, character defects, and shortcomings I can bring them before God and my community and ask for help in figuring out how to move forward. I don’t have to run from God and community fearing that if God and folks actually knew me I’d be rejected. I can bring them to the table to learn from others and folks can learn from me. Because God has poured grace out for us we don’t have to hide our mistakes, wrongs, or defects (real or imagined) we can step into the light and learn what it means to be loved and accepted and how to live a life in this new reality.

Have a good one,

Carl

Eschatology, Eggs, and Love

Hey All,

I woke up Sunday and thought about two things: that between It’s The End Of The World As We Know It and Losing My Religion I bet REM noticed a spike in iTunes downloads this weekend and I thought about Harold Camping and the folks who bought into his May 21^st prophecy. Having beliefs shattered, no matter how far fetched those beliefs are, hurts. They went way out on a limb and that sucker snapped on them. Believing in something so much that you’ve orientated your life around them, to accommodate them, and then to have those beliefs prove unfounded and misguided is certainly cause for some serious introspection.

What do we do when a belief, hope, or dream is proved false, unrealistic, or misguided? Do we overreact and walk away from all of our beliefs, hopes, and dreams? Do we hold on even tighter to the ones that haven’t failed yet? For me it helps to hold onto these things with an open hand rather than a fist. I’m sure there are some unchanging and constant truths but my beliefs are not necessarily those truths. I’ve been wrong a lot. Here are a few of my favorites:

I’ve been baptized so not sinning will be easy now.

Obama will be different than other presidents.

The Kingdom of God and America are one in the same.

There is a Santa.

Drinking helps me cope with problems.

My heart is too hard for God to save me.

I remember the beliefs I had and pray for those folks. I read interviews with the folks here and I hope that they will be able to pick up the pieces of their houses built on eschatological sand and move to locations with more solid ground. That maybe this moment of brokenness will prove to be the moment when God broke through. That they were able to see the how some of these beliefs were distracting them from the life God has for them right now.

Prophecy and Eschatology are dicey things. The certainty that comes with an emphasis on tangible dates and events is an amazing high. The dizzying sense of relief that can accompany the notion of the Almighty hitting a reset button or handing out easy exits to the messes we’ve made of our lives is sweet. The idea of a magic bullet or cure all is tempting. I want total control or no control at all whichever gets me out of the pain I’m in right now. The belief in those things has typically left me burnt, jaded, emotionally hung-over, and spiritually cold. This brings me to eggs.

When I was in middle school the Incredible, Edible, Egg commercial was on all the time. I grew up believing that eggs were good for me, unless of course the eggs represented my brain on drugs…any way eggs were good for me until high school then all this research came out and said that eggs raised cholesterol and were to be avoided. Then in my 20’s these same health professionals came back and said egg whites were okay. That it was the yolks of the eggs that were the cause of heart exploding cholesterol. Now there are studies saying that cholesterol may not be as bad for us as we were told and that eggs are okay again. I’ve had the goal post regarding eggs moved so many times over the last 20 years that I’ve given up listening. You know what hasn’t changed: eat right and exercise. That simple concept hasn’t changed once. Through all the fad diets, new research, exciting developments in fat vacuuming, and tummy staples eat right and exercise has been constant. Sure, health risks are still present. No amount of exercise will erase genetics. But, if I eat right and exercise I’ll probably be okay. This brings me back to prophecy and eschatology.

There are armies of talking heads and oceans of spilled ink on the who, what, when, where, and how of the world ending. Every year the National Enquire unleashes new prophecies and predictions. Entire forests have been decimated in the back and forth quarreling and hand wringing in the wake of the Left Behind series. The health community’s stance on eggs in contrast to the entire hubbub over prophecies and eschatology seems as constant as 2+2=4.

What I’m left with, in light of these eschatological adventures in missing the point, is that regardless of what happened on May 21^st, regardless of what happens in the next five minutes, is that while here Jesus called us to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” To me this is the spiritual equivalent of “Eat right, and Exercise.” If I try to love God and love neighbors as myself regardless of outside factors I’ll be okay.

Have a good one,

Carl