Life, Death, and the Futility of Everything: Part 4

Hey All,

In Spiritual Formations Henri Nouwen tells the story of a university professor seeking Zen. The professor walks into the Zen master’s house and explains the reason for his visit and his desire to learn all he can from the master. The Zen master served the man some tea. He poured the professors cup full, and then kept right on pouring. The professor watched and exclaimed, “What are you doing! The cup is full no more will tea will go in!” The Zen master responded by saying, “Like the cup you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I teach you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

For the past few weeks now (1, 2, 3) we’ve been wading through Ecclesiastes and exploring the worldview of Qoheleth. The reason for this study is because when I read Ecclesiastes I can see that my cup is full of my own misguided hang-ups, ideas, wants, and beliefs and that I am in desperate need of emptying my cup. I easily slide into a worldview dictated by my various desires, passions, and abilities. I start to lose sight of the fact that God’s name is not Carl. Ecclesiastes helps me to let go of those notions. Ecclesiastes is a spiritual enema. It helps clear out our heads and hearts so that God can help us put together a perspective and worldview in keeping with God’s will for us. A worldview rooted in love, charity, grace, mercy, and serenity.

  This week we’ll be covering chapters 2 and 3. To change things up we’re going to let YouTube help us with the gist of these two chapters. Chapter 2…well actually the whole of Ecclesiastes can be summed up by these:

Ralph Stanely: O Death:

I love that line “O Death won’t you spare me over till another year” that is followed later by Death’s reality “…having mercy is out of your (Death’s) reach.” Death is inevitable to all. You can eat all the right foods, be as smart as Mr. Hawking, exercise like Richard Simmons, and pray till you’re blue in the face it doesn’t matter ‘cause death will come a callin’ on us all.

The Notorious B.I.G: Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems:

In this song Puffy raps, “Ten years from now we’ll still be on top.” Quick question: Can anybody tell me whose album Bad Boy just released? Yeah…

Loudon Wainwright III: Hard Day on the Planet:

“We don’t seem to learn; and we can’t seem to stop.” Find an alcoholic or addict and ask them if this is true.

Liza Minnelli: Life is a Cabaret:

When I read chapter 2.24 I think of the crescendo in this song, “Start by admitting from cradle to tomb it isn’t that long a stay. Life is a cabaret old chum…and I love a Cabaret.” Yes it’s all a fleeting gasp of air but it’s the only breath we’ve got so we might as well enjoy it.

Denis Leary: Life’s Gonna Suck:

I kid, I kid…Okay Chapter 3:

The Byrds: Turn! Turn! Turn!:

     Any non-academic look at Ecclesiastes is legally obligated to reference this song at least once.

There are things in Ecclesiastes 2 and 3 that we are going to explore further. First, if we are to make the best of our time here under the sun it would behoove us to admit that we’re powerless over a whole lot of things. Secondly, things that we pursue under the sun with tenacity, like a good marriage, status, intimacy with our fellow man, a good time, and what not, while not inherently bad or evil, could lead to our destruction or the destruction of others. Now that’s a bold statement which we’ll come back to. But in order to do so let’s first flesh out what I mean by our powerlessness.

Jesus acknowledges that as we walk through the transition from Genesis 2’s garden to Revelation 21’s city things aren’t going to be as they should be. In Mark 14 a woman poured expensive perfume all over Jesus’ head to the surprise of Judas who claimed that it was a wasteful act. Jesus replied by saying, “Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial.” In Matthew 24 Jesus tells his followers that “…you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.” These verses bring me to two conclusions. One, as followers of Christ we are to stand with the poor and oppressed, to care to for the sick, to provide for the orphaned and widowed, clothe the naked, and put away our swords. Second, we have to acknowledge that just because we are doing those things doesn’t mean that poverty will be eradicated, that no more children will be orphaned, that no more wives will lose their husbands, that all those who are naked will be clothed ,and swords will most certainly not easily be beaten into plowshares.  Does that mean we’re off the hook and we can just stand on the road waiting for Godot? Absolutely not! It means that we are free to focus on the problems and shortcomings of our own hearts, marriages, families, friendships, relationships, towns, counties, states, and nations. We can’t solve the world’s problem but we can tend to our little corners of the globe and do the best we can to create systems and ways of living that are nurturing, sustainable, loving, and merciful in those corners.

The second thing to explore in Ecclesiastes 2 and 3 is that some of the things of this world, while not inherently bad or evil, can lead to our destruction or the destruction of others if we pursue those things obsessively. Money is a prime example. It is often said that money is the root of all evil. This is not true. Money is not evil. Money is a tool like a hammer. Like a hammer, money can be used to create or destroy. The pursuit of money is not evil if money is being pursued in order to create things out of love. I attended a fundraising event recently for a transitional home. The sole purpose of the event was to gain money. It was not evil or wrong for the folks who run that home to pursue money in order to achieve the vision and dream God has placed on their hearts for that place. However if they start asking for more than they need and start raising money just to raise money well then they will have lost the plot.

In the same way the pursuit of what Qoheleth describes in Ecclesiastes 2:11-14 “the Good Life,” or in my context the “American Dream,” only becomes immoral if that life is brought about at the expense of another’s well being. If we pursue safety, comfort, sustenance, and a livelihood in a way that is harmful to another human being’s safety, comfort, sustenance, and livelihood then we are in the wrong. In the Lord’s Prayer we pray that God will give us our daily bread. The prayer is for our daily bread not my daily bread. It’s a communal prayer. Bonhoeffer points out that there is enough to go around for everyone. It is only when we take more than we need that folks go without. I can tell you that in my own life I’m taking part in harming another when I’m clinging too tightly to some perceived need. When my waking thoughts are consumed by a particular concern or want then I am in danger of over stepping my bounds and taking more than I need.  

Like the Zen master, God has chosen to wait until we empty our cups and become willing to receive what God has to offer us. God wants a relationship with us and nothing kills a relationship faster than one party forcing their will on another. God wants us be open to the worldview God has. To be able to see the world as God sees it, to weep when God weeps, to marvel at what God marvels at, to experience the world as God experiences it. God wants to be the Cindy Lou Who to our Grinch. The Grinch was only able to really embrace Christmas when he let go of his opinions and prejudices and opened his mind and heart. Ecclesiastes can help us acknowledge the limits and fleeting nature of wisdom, labor, good times, and life in general and let go of our pursuit of those things. It is only from that point that we will be open to the life God has to offer us. Ecclesiastes helps us to see that once we empty ourselves of the belief that money, wisdom, toil, or revelry or the like will give us meaning we are ready for God to fill our cups.

Have a good one,

Carl

Jacob, Esau, and Notions of Fair Play

Hey All,

Earlier this week a group of us walked through Genesis 27 which recounts the story of Rebekah and Jacob tricking Isaac into giving Jacob the blessing rather than Esau. One of the things that stuck in our craw a bit was that Esau is totally swindled by his brother and mother. Some in the group tried to rationalize Esau getting robbed as a result of his marrying outsiders and the anathema that this was to his folks (Gen 26.34-35). The motivation for trying to justify Esau getting robbed as a result of his somehow deserving it is rooted in our longing for things to be fair. What happens to Esau is not fair. I wonder though if that longing for fairness in our eyes is an unreasonable expectation?

The idea of something being fair is highly subjective and therefore problematic. (Now when I speak of fairness I do not mean justice. I think these two ideals are similar but they are not the same. The intent here is to wrestle with fairness not justice.) What is fair to me may not be fair to someone else. Take the game of Monopoly for example: each household has rules for Monopoly unique to their own sense of fair play. Some folks strictly adhere to the rule that if you land on Free Parking you get the money in the middle of the board other folks do not. If these two groups tried to play a game together and one of the folks from the former category lands on Free Parking and tries to reach in to get the money, well that person will be accosted with loud verbal signals that they are not playing fairly according to the latter group.

In their songs Uncle Frank and TVA, the Drive-By Truckers explore two perspectives on the Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA) and that organization’s effects on their families and communities. In TVA the benefits of the TVA are held up and the song shows how that organization was a godsend for a lot of folks. Uncle Frank on the other hand reveals the downside and adverse effects the TVA had on a lot other of folks. Who’s right? They both are. Were the actions of the TVA fair or not fair? I’d have to say both. I bring this up not to propose some relativistic worldview, rather I bring this up to shine a light on the limits of our abilities. When humans are involved we are limited by our abilities, perspectives, strengths, and weaknesses. Humans are not capable of perfect harmony. The TVA was set up with good intentions and yet it ended up wronging folks while in pursuit of those good intentions. Toes were stepped on, lives were ruined, and yet a lot of good was accomplished. What I’m left with is this sense that what might be fair from my perspective in a specific instance would not be fair in 100% of perspectives in 100% of instances. As a result, in my view, the pursuit of fairness is not necessarily something to expend a whole lot of energy towards. Fairness is far too fickle a thing to place in our top ten lists of criteria. Now, let’s turn back to Esau getting swindled out of his birthright.

In Genesis 25.23 God told Rebekah that the younger son would serve the older son. One of the cornerstones of the world that Jacob and Esau were born into is that the oldest son inherits everything the father has while the other kids are beneath the oldest. This is called primogeniture. By choosing Jacob rather than Esau God was throwing the whole societal structure of primogeniture into upheaval. This is a radical, offensive, revolutionary move on God’s part. For God to throw primogeniture aside in favor of Jacob would be unfair in this society. Nevertheless, what we see here is the ground work of the topsy turvy reality of the Kingdom of God where the first shall be last and the last shall be first. We are seeing the Kingdom of God that has come, is coming, and will come at work in the society of Jacob and Esau. The story of scripture is God reconciling creation and that process is occurring here in Genesis 27. Is it fair to Esau? Nope. The thing is I don’t think being fair in our eyes is something God is too concerned with. We see this in the story of Joseph reconciling with his brothers after they had sold him into slavery in. Joseph tells his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50.20).

For me this means that I would do well to accept that God’s will and actions are above me. God operates on a whole other level than I do. This means things may not shake out in ways that I perceive to be fair. That doesn’t mean God isn’t at work in these things. It just means that God’s sense of fair play isn't necessarily going to line up with our sense of fair play. Can we accept that or not?

Have a good one,

Carl

Outcasts, Mercy, and God's Grace

Hey All,

In Genesis 25 we have the final account of Ishmael’s life and death. The writer is tying up the loose ends of Abraham’s life and is preparing to move onto Isaac. What we see in verses 12-18 is that God fulfilled the promise given to Hagar in Gen 21:18 “…I will make him into a great nation.” I see a lot of hope in the life of Ishmael because he was, in the Hebrew tradition, cast out. It was made clear that Isaac was the child of promise and that Ishmael was not, and yet God still cares for him. Even though God’s people had cast Ishmael out God had not.  What I see time and time again in scripture is God’s concern for the outcast, the misfit, the trickster, the poor, and the oppressed.

It is this Divine concern that compels me to take the view that I ought to follow suit in my views, perspectives, and stances so that they to have an eye for these folks. I also believe I should have that bias  because I to was once a misfit, outcast, trickster, poor, and oppressed. And in some ways I still am these things albeit in different ways. In any case, I’ve found it important in my striving towards the will of God to never forget where I came from and to never forget the sin the rages still in my heart. By this I intend to, as Bonhoeffer puts it in his book Life Together, live under the Cross:

Anybody who lives beneath the Cross and who has discerned in the Cross of Jesus the utter wickedness of all men and of his own heart will find there is no sin that can ever be alien to him. Anybody who has been horrified by the dreadfulness of his own sin that nailed Jesus to the Cross will no longer be horrified by even the rankest sins of a brother. He knows how utterly lost it is in sin and weakness, how it goes astray in the ways of sin, and he also knows that it is accepted in grace and mercy.

I am more inclined towards mercy and grace and remaining open to the folks around me when I remember just how merciful, graceful, and open God is to me.

This does not mean I dwell on the past in sackcloth britches tossing ashes on my head. Rather, living under cross compels me to move forward, learn what it means to live a life of love, and listen to the stories, experiences, and travelogues in weakness and defeat, strength and triumph of others. I get to stop grasping at the meaningless, fleeting things of this world, and instead hunker down on the call to love God, neighbors, and enemies and enjoy the spread that the Lord of the Banquet has put on.

Have a good one,

Carl

Grace, Bird Flipping, and Working Out Salvation

Hey All,

Last week I waded into Galatians 5 and this bit drew my attention:

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

The freedom we have by the grace of God is mind-boggling. It covers warts and all. The grace of God is so freely given that I am free to do as I please. There are consequences in how I use that freedom but I am free to choose. This freedom is what a healthy loving relationship requires. For us to be in truly healthy relationships with God and others; we all (God included) must be free to be ourselves absolutely. The love I have for others cannot be hinged on potential, abilities, wants, or worth. Thomas Merton says:

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

I strive for a love that is unconditional. I strive for this because as Christ said in John 5.19: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” Christ is stating that he only does what he sees God doing. As a part of the body of Christ I feel compelled to follow suit. I see that God loves us in this unconditional way because in 1 John 4:16 we are told that God is Love and the unconditional nature of Love is described in 1 Corinthians 13:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

We see this played out in Psalm 139 and Luke 12.   I believe that as a Christian I am to love in the same way.  Christians are to love one another unconditionally. Christians are to love one another (neighbors, enemies, God, everyone) for exactly who we are right now. Not who I think they should be. Not who I think they could be. Not who I think they ought to be. I am to love who they are right now in this moment in this place with this very breath. We are precious creations of God. There will never be another one of us. We’re it. In the entire span of the 93 billion light years across universe I am the only one God has made to be me. God loves me for exactly who I am. If God Almighty finds me to be worthy of love, grace, and acceptance who am I to say any different?

The same goes for the folks around me. There will never be another one of them. They’re it. In the entire span of the 93 billion light years across universe they are the only ones God has made to be them. God loves them for exactly who they are. If God Almighty finds them to be worthy of love, grace, and acceptance who am I to say any different?

I believe this, it is a foundational belief, I hold this belief tightly…until a kid leans out his car window and yells at me for some perceived misstep in traffic etiquette. Then this belief is dropped so I can free my hands up to flip the kid off for having the audacity to yell at me.

How can this canyon between my actions and my beliefs exist?  Before this weekend I can’t tell you the last time I flipped someone off in anger. I wish I could tell you that it was worth it, a use of the bird so effective that it would’ve made Maverick and Goose proud. It would not have. It was silly. I felt a bit bad about having flipped him off. I was glad to see some progress in my reactions. I used to do far worse in similar situations. I looked at my motives and emotions in the fleeting seconds of the event and saw that I was afraid of his display of dominance, and wanting to assert my own manliness, I reacted. 

I reacted as if his display could’ve taken my self worth or status as a creation of God from me. This is foolish, no one can take away my self worth or my standing in God’s eyes. I’ve been known to hand those things away willingly more than a time or two but no one has ever taken them from me. The question for me then becomes what led up to this event and how was I doing emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

If I rewind the tape of the day a bit, I see a rather taxing financial conversation with my wife. Not an argument or anything like that in the least, just a hard conversation no matter how well you’re doing. I was emotionally spent having held it together throughout our financial discussion. I had not taken the time to prayerfully prepare for the day. I had offered up some cursory prayers, you know just enough to assuage the lingering religious guilt, and as a result my spiritual well being was definitely at risk. Physically, I was hungry and on my way to lunch on the main road in our town which is always heavily congested (by small Midwestern city standards) which is frustrating.

I look at those things, see that I was primed for an over reaction, and remember H.A.L.T.: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. If I’m any of those things I do well to stop what I’m doing, if only for a few seconds, take some deep breaths, say the Serenity Prayer right quick, and think about my plan of action to rectify this quickly and in a healthy manner. Had I done that, before walking out the door to go to lunch, things may have gone differently.

When I remember that God has already found me worthy of love, grace, and acceptance I can see that my self worth is an inside job. I think this is what Paul is pointing to in Philippians 2.12 when he tells the Philippians to “…work out your own salvation…” I don’t earn my salvation. I am, however, responsible for my acceptance of salvation and sorting out what that means for my day-to-day life. Because of this I can look at my actions, without fear or shame, examine what went sideways and what went okay. Where I improved and where I fell short and what I can do in the future to prevent it from happening again.

For me, this seems to be one of the benefits of grace and salvation. I don’t have to hide my missteps, character defects, and shortcomings I can bring them before God and my community and ask for help in figuring out how to move forward. I don’t have to run from God and community fearing that if God and folks actually knew me I’d be rejected. I can bring them to the table to learn from others and folks can learn from me. Because God has poured grace out for us we don’t have to hide our mistakes, wrongs, or defects (real or imagined) we can step into the light and learn what it means to be loved and accepted and how to live a life in this new reality.

Have a good one,

Carl

Eschatology, Eggs, and Love

Hey All,

I woke up Sunday and thought about two things: that between It’s The End Of The World As We Know It and Losing My Religion I bet REM noticed a spike in iTunes downloads this weekend and I thought about Harold Camping and the folks who bought into his May 21^st prophecy. Having beliefs shattered, no matter how far fetched those beliefs are, hurts. They went way out on a limb and that sucker snapped on them. Believing in something so much that you’ve orientated your life around them, to accommodate them, and then to have those beliefs prove unfounded and misguided is certainly cause for some serious introspection.

What do we do when a belief, hope, or dream is proved false, unrealistic, or misguided? Do we overreact and walk away from all of our beliefs, hopes, and dreams? Do we hold on even tighter to the ones that haven’t failed yet? For me it helps to hold onto these things with an open hand rather than a fist. I’m sure there are some unchanging and constant truths but my beliefs are not necessarily those truths. I’ve been wrong a lot. Here are a few of my favorites:

I’ve been baptized so not sinning will be easy now.

Obama will be different than other presidents.

The Kingdom of God and America are one in the same.

There is a Santa.

Drinking helps me cope with problems.

My heart is too hard for God to save me.

I remember the beliefs I had and pray for those folks. I read interviews with the folks here and I hope that they will be able to pick up the pieces of their houses built on eschatological sand and move to locations with more solid ground. That maybe this moment of brokenness will prove to be the moment when God broke through. That they were able to see the how some of these beliefs were distracting them from the life God has for them right now.

Prophecy and Eschatology are dicey things. The certainty that comes with an emphasis on tangible dates and events is an amazing high. The dizzying sense of relief that can accompany the notion of the Almighty hitting a reset button or handing out easy exits to the messes we’ve made of our lives is sweet. The idea of a magic bullet or cure all is tempting. I want total control or no control at all whichever gets me out of the pain I’m in right now. The belief in those things has typically left me burnt, jaded, emotionally hung-over, and spiritually cold. This brings me to eggs.

When I was in middle school the Incredible, Edible, Egg commercial was on all the time. I grew up believing that eggs were good for me, unless of course the eggs represented my brain on drugs…any way eggs were good for me until high school then all this research came out and said that eggs raised cholesterol and were to be avoided. Then in my 20’s these same health professionals came back and said egg whites were okay. That it was the yolks of the eggs that were the cause of heart exploding cholesterol. Now there are studies saying that cholesterol may not be as bad for us as we were told and that eggs are okay again. I’ve had the goal post regarding eggs moved so many times over the last 20 years that I’ve given up listening. You know what hasn’t changed: eat right and exercise. That simple concept hasn’t changed once. Through all the fad diets, new research, exciting developments in fat vacuuming, and tummy staples eat right and exercise has been constant. Sure, health risks are still present. No amount of exercise will erase genetics. But, if I eat right and exercise I’ll probably be okay. This brings me back to prophecy and eschatology.

There are armies of talking heads and oceans of spilled ink on the who, what, when, where, and how of the world ending. Every year the National Enquire unleashes new prophecies and predictions. Entire forests have been decimated in the back and forth quarreling and hand wringing in the wake of the Left Behind series. The health community’s stance on eggs in contrast to the entire hubbub over prophecies and eschatology seems as constant as 2+2=4.

What I’m left with, in light of these eschatological adventures in missing the point, is that regardless of what happened on May 21^st, regardless of what happens in the next five minutes, is that while here Jesus called us to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” To me this is the spiritual equivalent of “Eat right, and Exercise.” If I try to love God and love neighbors as myself regardless of outside factors I’ll be okay.

Have a good one,

Carl