Think, Think, Think

Hey All,

It’s been over a year since I’ve posted anything here and a week since the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary. I’ll get into my prolonged absence in a later post but for now I’d like to focus on the way we process, grieve, and respond to this abhorrent event. As always this is one dude’s opinion based on and rooted in my experiences, strengths, weakness, hopes, and fears. While I’ll do my best to minimize my weaknesses and fears I’m certain that some will slip through so I ask that you be mindful of that possibility which happily brings me to my request for all of us during this time: Think!

Think for yourselves. Think about what you are hearing. Think about your responses to what you’re hearing. Think about what you are saying. Think before a word forms on your tongue. Think about why you are saying it. Think about the person saying what you’re hearing. Think about the beliefs you purport to hold. Think about the meaning of the words you are saying. Think about whether or not what you’re about to do or say is helpful or not. Think about the context you inhabit. Think about what is going on in the world. Think about your part in the goings on of the world. Think about your actions. Think about your motives. In the words of my father: Think Dammit!

Way too often I just let the words fall right out of my mouth without thought or care to the far reaching implications of what I’m saying. When my thoughtless or careless words are held back up to me by someone I get fussy. I was just blowing off steam. I didn’t mean it like that! That was not my intention! That’s taken out of context. I didn’t think…

What we say matters. How we speak about things matter. The words we use effect how what we are saying will be received. Some of the folks who started reading this bristled at and may even no longer be with us because of the last word of paragraph two. What we post, blog, or tweet is a reflection of our true selves. How we conduct ourselves affects the world around us. The cold reality is that we really do love others as we love ourselves. How we treat people, how we react and respond to the world around us is a tethered to the anchor of how view we have ourselves and the baggage we lug around with us. To be aware of that is to be given the choice to take responsibility for yourself.

Have a good one,

Carl

Outcasts, Mercy, and God's Grace

Hey All,

In Genesis 25 we have the final account of Ishmael’s life and death. The writer is tying up the loose ends of Abraham’s life and is preparing to move onto Isaac. What we see in verses 12-18 is that God fulfilled the promise given to Hagar in Gen 21:18 “…I will make him into a great nation.” I see a lot of hope in the life of Ishmael because he was, in the Hebrew tradition, cast out. It was made clear that Isaac was the child of promise and that Ishmael was not, and yet God still cares for him. Even though God’s people had cast Ishmael out God had not.  What I see time and time again in scripture is God’s concern for the outcast, the misfit, the trickster, the poor, and the oppressed.

It is this Divine concern that compels me to take the view that I ought to follow suit in my views, perspectives, and stances so that they to have an eye for these folks. I also believe I should have that bias  because I to was once a misfit, outcast, trickster, poor, and oppressed. And in some ways I still am these things albeit in different ways. In any case, I’ve found it important in my striving towards the will of God to never forget where I came from and to never forget the sin the rages still in my heart. By this I intend to, as Bonhoeffer puts it in his book Life Together, live under the Cross:

Anybody who lives beneath the Cross and who has discerned in the Cross of Jesus the utter wickedness of all men and of his own heart will find there is no sin that can ever be alien to him. Anybody who has been horrified by the dreadfulness of his own sin that nailed Jesus to the Cross will no longer be horrified by even the rankest sins of a brother. He knows how utterly lost it is in sin and weakness, how it goes astray in the ways of sin, and he also knows that it is accepted in grace and mercy.

I am more inclined towards mercy and grace and remaining open to the folks around me when I remember just how merciful, graceful, and open God is to me.

This does not mean I dwell on the past in sackcloth britches tossing ashes on my head. Rather, living under cross compels me to move forward, learn what it means to live a life of love, and listen to the stories, experiences, and travelogues in weakness and defeat, strength and triumph of others. I get to stop grasping at the meaningless, fleeting things of this world, and instead hunker down on the call to love God, neighbors, and enemies and enjoy the spread that the Lord of the Banquet has put on.

Have a good one,

Carl

Grace, Bird Flipping, and Working Out Salvation

Hey All,

Last week I waded into Galatians 5 and this bit drew my attention:

13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

The freedom we have by the grace of God is mind-boggling. It covers warts and all. The grace of God is so freely given that I am free to do as I please. There are consequences in how I use that freedom but I am free to choose. This freedom is what a healthy loving relationship requires. For us to be in truly healthy relationships with God and others; we all (God included) must be free to be ourselves absolutely. The love I have for others cannot be hinged on potential, abilities, wants, or worth. Thomas Merton says:

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

I strive for a love that is unconditional. I strive for this because as Christ said in John 5.19: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” Christ is stating that he only does what he sees God doing. As a part of the body of Christ I feel compelled to follow suit. I see that God loves us in this unconditional way because in 1 John 4:16 we are told that God is Love and the unconditional nature of Love is described in 1 Corinthians 13:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

We see this played out in Psalm 139 and Luke 12.   I believe that as a Christian I am to love in the same way.  Christians are to love one another unconditionally. Christians are to love one another (neighbors, enemies, God, everyone) for exactly who we are right now. Not who I think they should be. Not who I think they could be. Not who I think they ought to be. I am to love who they are right now in this moment in this place with this very breath. We are precious creations of God. There will never be another one of us. We’re it. In the entire span of the 93 billion light years across universe I am the only one God has made to be me. God loves me for exactly who I am. If God Almighty finds me to be worthy of love, grace, and acceptance who am I to say any different?

The same goes for the folks around me. There will never be another one of them. They’re it. In the entire span of the 93 billion light years across universe they are the only ones God has made to be them. God loves them for exactly who they are. If God Almighty finds them to be worthy of love, grace, and acceptance who am I to say any different?

I believe this, it is a foundational belief, I hold this belief tightly…until a kid leans out his car window and yells at me for some perceived misstep in traffic etiquette. Then this belief is dropped so I can free my hands up to flip the kid off for having the audacity to yell at me.

How can this canyon between my actions and my beliefs exist?  Before this weekend I can’t tell you the last time I flipped someone off in anger. I wish I could tell you that it was worth it, a use of the bird so effective that it would’ve made Maverick and Goose proud. It would not have. It was silly. I felt a bit bad about having flipped him off. I was glad to see some progress in my reactions. I used to do far worse in similar situations. I looked at my motives and emotions in the fleeting seconds of the event and saw that I was afraid of his display of dominance, and wanting to assert my own manliness, I reacted. 

I reacted as if his display could’ve taken my self worth or status as a creation of God from me. This is foolish, no one can take away my self worth or my standing in God’s eyes. I’ve been known to hand those things away willingly more than a time or two but no one has ever taken them from me. The question for me then becomes what led up to this event and how was I doing emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

If I rewind the tape of the day a bit, I see a rather taxing financial conversation with my wife. Not an argument or anything like that in the least, just a hard conversation no matter how well you’re doing. I was emotionally spent having held it together throughout our financial discussion. I had not taken the time to prayerfully prepare for the day. I had offered up some cursory prayers, you know just enough to assuage the lingering religious guilt, and as a result my spiritual well being was definitely at risk. Physically, I was hungry and on my way to lunch on the main road in our town which is always heavily congested (by small Midwestern city standards) which is frustrating.

I look at those things, see that I was primed for an over reaction, and remember H.A.L.T.: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. If I’m any of those things I do well to stop what I’m doing, if only for a few seconds, take some deep breaths, say the Serenity Prayer right quick, and think about my plan of action to rectify this quickly and in a healthy manner. Had I done that, before walking out the door to go to lunch, things may have gone differently.

When I remember that God has already found me worthy of love, grace, and acceptance I can see that my self worth is an inside job. I think this is what Paul is pointing to in Philippians 2.12 when he tells the Philippians to “…work out your own salvation…” I don’t earn my salvation. I am, however, responsible for my acceptance of salvation and sorting out what that means for my day-to-day life. Because of this I can look at my actions, without fear or shame, examine what went sideways and what went okay. Where I improved and where I fell short and what I can do in the future to prevent it from happening again.

For me, this seems to be one of the benefits of grace and salvation. I don’t have to hide my missteps, character defects, and shortcomings I can bring them before God and my community and ask for help in figuring out how to move forward. I don’t have to run from God and community fearing that if God and folks actually knew me I’d be rejected. I can bring them to the table to learn from others and folks can learn from me. Because God has poured grace out for us we don’t have to hide our mistakes, wrongs, or defects (real or imagined) we can step into the light and learn what it means to be loved and accepted and how to live a life in this new reality.

Have a good one,

Carl