Pizza, Homophobia, and The Power of Love

Hey All,

This morning I came across an article about Joel Diaz and his friend holding hands in a pizza line. As they waited they were accosted by a man telling them to cut their “gay shit” out. The response of the folks also in line, in my mind, was a glimpse of the Kingdom of God. According to Mr. Diaz:

I was a bit startled by his words but I didn't expect what happened next. Almost every single person in that line made it known to him it was not OK for him to speak to us like that…As he continued it was actually the straight people in line who spoke up that were so awesome…I didn't expect to see allies so willing to chime in and let this guy know that his hate speech wouldn't be tolerated. The best part though was as he grew more irate and vocal the guys who work the truck stopped what they were doing and leaned towards the window and told him they would not serve him because he was spewing hate. They said they support everyone in our community and that he should get out of line because they would not be serving him. 

This instance is an example of folks standing alongside and caring for “the least of these.” The individuals who saw two fellow human beings being bullied and degraded and were unwilling to allow that type of fear based hate to be carried out are far stronger than I was in similar situations. I’m so happy for Mr. Diaz and his friend and thankful for their willingness to share this story. I want to rejoice at the changes that have taken place in my life time. We’ve gone from a culture that cringed at and protested this to a culture where folks stand up for folks like Mr. Diaz and his friend. But my heart goes out to that man who lashed out at Mr. Diaz and his friend. My heart goes out to him because I’ve been there myself. His story is my story.

Growing up I was taught that homosexuality was a sin and an abomination. We were to love the sinner but hate the sin. All through out my teens and twenties I used homophobic slurs and, unlike those folks in line, stood idly by as others berated and oppressed LGBT folks. When I was in the Marine Corps I outed a fellow Marine in a group one day. Being a middle-class white boy from the Mid-west I had no idea what I had done or the possible effects of my words. I was only vaguely aware of DADT. This is of course a prime example of the ignorance possible when one is a Blonde Haired Blue Eyed Male of German descent. I was totally in the wrong. 

The miracle here is that I was stationed with that Marine later and he showed me a level of love, friendship, and respect that was fundamental in helping to crack my hardened heart. For me, my evolution from being a homophobe to an LGBT Ally was a series of events like this one. I never had a bolt of lightning moment where the scales of homophobia fell from my eyes. It was a series of events and transistions.

The cumulative effects of those cracks like I had experienced in the Corps began to bring the dam down when I was in college studying to be a Pastor. It was in my bible classes where I learned about post-modernism, exegesis, and a broad spectrum of theology that I gave myself permission to really examine my beliefs and how I came about them. What to hold on to and what to throw out.

Up till this point I had been pretty content to maintain the “If Bible says it is wrong then don’t do it” line. But the reality was that it’s always been murkier than that. The bible has verses that condone slavery, stoning unruly children, stoning adulterers, makes a case for the genocide of entire people groups. I need only look to my German and American heritage to see the need to actively work against these kinds of verses.

What I had to do was to look at scripture to try and discern what the overarching point is. When we look at scripture as a whole what is the take away message? For me the answer to that is God loves us (John 3:16) and in fact God is Love (1 John 4:8). In light of this I believe that Love is the lens through which I am to look at all of creation. It is with a prejudice of Love that I am to align myself. I believe this is what Jesus was pointing to in Matthew 22: 37-39: Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all of your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

In light of this I began to see that a sin is anything that inhibits, negates, hinders, or prohibits love. Let’s take alcoholic drinking for example. I use alcoholic drinking for two reasons 1. I am an alcoholic and I like to keep things in my wheelhouse. 2. This statement, “It’s not a sin to be a Homosexual just like it’s not a sin to be an Alcoholic. It’s just a sin to act on those things.” Therein lies the rub. I believe that alcoholic drinking is a sin because it impedes my ability to love. When I am drinking my sole purpose in life becomes centered on drinking rather than love. My primary concern is not to love my God, fellow human beings, or myself. No, my concern is whatever I’ve got to do to get to my next drink. So, alcoholic drinking is a sin because it stands in the way of my ability to love.

Now let’s take homosexuality. Does being in a homosexual relationship inhibit those within the relationships ability to love? Does being attracted to a man inhibit the ability to love? Does being attracted to a woman inhibit the ability to love? I’m not talking about lust. Lust robs people of their humanity. I’m talking about the simple, primal attraction we all feel when we encounter that certain someone and desire to be in relationship with that person. Does that impede our ability to love? Does desiring intimacy with that certain someone negate our ability to love?  Does wanting to share our life with that individual hamper our ability to love? No of course it doesn’t. If anything, those things strengthen our ability to love. Because I answer no to each of those questions I found that I must answer no to the question of whether or not homosexuality is a sin. (For far more eloquent and in depth articulations of this line of thought check out John Shore’s book Unfair and Matthew Vine’s outstanding talk The Gay Debate: The Bible and Homosexuality)

When I came to this understanding of scripture and the Gospel my faith required that I change my beliefs. No longer can I stand by and watch as people are oppressed and treated as second class citizens of the Kingdom we’re all invited into. No longer could I claim ignorance out of fear. No longer could I remain off stage or on the sidelines. Love does not permit such cowardice. Love requires and compels me to stand alongside my brothers and sisters in the trenches. It was for this reason that, when asked to in 2012, I officially left the denomination I was seeking ordination through and began speaking out in support of LGBT rights and equality. For me this was a 25 year wrestling. It is no easy thing to pull a 180 on something so entrenched as a belief that something is a sin or is in some way detestable.

I told you all of that to ask this: Please pray for that man. Pray that this moment will be a turning point for him. As a repentant homophobe myself I can attest to the fact that he’s not too far gone or unable to change. None of us are. The God who is Love is One who doggedly and blessedly pursues wayward folks like him and me.

Have a good one,

Carl

Think, Think, Think

Hey All,

It’s been over a year since I’ve posted anything here and a week since the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary. I’ll get into my prolonged absence in a later post but for now I’d like to focus on the way we process, grieve, and respond to this abhorrent event. As always this is one dude’s opinion based on and rooted in my experiences, strengths, weakness, hopes, and fears. While I’ll do my best to minimize my weaknesses and fears I’m certain that some will slip through so I ask that you be mindful of that possibility which happily brings me to my request for all of us during this time: Think!

Think for yourselves. Think about what you are hearing. Think about your responses to what you’re hearing. Think about what you are saying. Think before a word forms on your tongue. Think about why you are saying it. Think about the person saying what you’re hearing. Think about the beliefs you purport to hold. Think about the meaning of the words you are saying. Think about whether or not what you’re about to do or say is helpful or not. Think about the context you inhabit. Think about what is going on in the world. Think about your part in the goings on of the world. Think about your actions. Think about your motives. In the words of my father: Think Dammit!

Way too often I just let the words fall right out of my mouth without thought or care to the far reaching implications of what I’m saying. When my thoughtless or careless words are held back up to me by someone I get fussy. I was just blowing off steam. I didn’t mean it like that! That was not my intention! That’s taken out of context. I didn’t think…

What we say matters. How we speak about things matter. The words we use effect how what we are saying will be received. Some of the folks who started reading this bristled at and may even no longer be with us because of the last word of paragraph two. What we post, blog, or tweet is a reflection of our true selves. How we conduct ourselves affects the world around us. The cold reality is that we really do love others as we love ourselves. How we treat people, how we react and respond to the world around us is a tethered to the anchor of how view we have ourselves and the baggage we lug around with us. To be aware of that is to be given the choice to take responsibility for yourself.

Have a good one,

Carl

Life, Death, and the Futility of Everything: Part 4

Hey All,

In Spiritual Formations Henri Nouwen tells the story of a university professor seeking Zen. The professor walks into the Zen master’s house and explains the reason for his visit and his desire to learn all he can from the master. The Zen master served the man some tea. He poured the professors cup full, and then kept right on pouring. The professor watched and exclaimed, “What are you doing! The cup is full no more will tea will go in!” The Zen master responded by saying, “Like the cup you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I teach you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

For the past few weeks now (1, 2, 3) we’ve been wading through Ecclesiastes and exploring the worldview of Qoheleth. The reason for this study is because when I read Ecclesiastes I can see that my cup is full of my own misguided hang-ups, ideas, wants, and beliefs and that I am in desperate need of emptying my cup. I easily slide into a worldview dictated by my various desires, passions, and abilities. I start to lose sight of the fact that God’s name is not Carl. Ecclesiastes helps me to let go of those notions. Ecclesiastes is a spiritual enema. It helps clear out our heads and hearts so that God can help us put together a perspective and worldview in keeping with God’s will for us. A worldview rooted in love, charity, grace, mercy, and serenity.

  This week we’ll be covering chapters 2 and 3. To change things up we’re going to let YouTube help us with the gist of these two chapters. Chapter 2…well actually the whole of Ecclesiastes can be summed up by these:

Ralph Stanely: O Death:

I love that line “O Death won’t you spare me over till another year” that is followed later by Death’s reality “…having mercy is out of your (Death’s) reach.” Death is inevitable to all. You can eat all the right foods, be as smart as Mr. Hawking, exercise like Richard Simmons, and pray till you’re blue in the face it doesn’t matter ‘cause death will come a callin’ on us all.

The Notorious B.I.G: Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems:

In this song Puffy raps, “Ten years from now we’ll still be on top.” Quick question: Can anybody tell me whose album Bad Boy just released? Yeah…

Loudon Wainwright III: Hard Day on the Planet:

“We don’t seem to learn; and we can’t seem to stop.” Find an alcoholic or addict and ask them if this is true.

Liza Minnelli: Life is a Cabaret:

When I read chapter 2.24 I think of the crescendo in this song, “Start by admitting from cradle to tomb it isn’t that long a stay. Life is a cabaret old chum…and I love a Cabaret.” Yes it’s all a fleeting gasp of air but it’s the only breath we’ve got so we might as well enjoy it.

Denis Leary: Life’s Gonna Suck:

I kid, I kid…Okay Chapter 3:

The Byrds: Turn! Turn! Turn!:

     Any non-academic look at Ecclesiastes is legally obligated to reference this song at least once.

There are things in Ecclesiastes 2 and 3 that we are going to explore further. First, if we are to make the best of our time here under the sun it would behoove us to admit that we’re powerless over a whole lot of things. Secondly, things that we pursue under the sun with tenacity, like a good marriage, status, intimacy with our fellow man, a good time, and what not, while not inherently bad or evil, could lead to our destruction or the destruction of others. Now that’s a bold statement which we’ll come back to. But in order to do so let’s first flesh out what I mean by our powerlessness.

Jesus acknowledges that as we walk through the transition from Genesis 2’s garden to Revelation 21’s city things aren’t going to be as they should be. In Mark 14 a woman poured expensive perfume all over Jesus’ head to the surprise of Judas who claimed that it was a wasteful act. Jesus replied by saying, “Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial.” In Matthew 24 Jesus tells his followers that “…you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.” These verses bring me to two conclusions. One, as followers of Christ we are to stand with the poor and oppressed, to care to for the sick, to provide for the orphaned and widowed, clothe the naked, and put away our swords. Second, we have to acknowledge that just because we are doing those things doesn’t mean that poverty will be eradicated, that no more children will be orphaned, that no more wives will lose their husbands, that all those who are naked will be clothed ,and swords will most certainly not easily be beaten into plowshares.  Does that mean we’re off the hook and we can just stand on the road waiting for Godot? Absolutely not! It means that we are free to focus on the problems and shortcomings of our own hearts, marriages, families, friendships, relationships, towns, counties, states, and nations. We can’t solve the world’s problem but we can tend to our little corners of the globe and do the best we can to create systems and ways of living that are nurturing, sustainable, loving, and merciful in those corners.

The second thing to explore in Ecclesiastes 2 and 3 is that some of the things of this world, while not inherently bad or evil, can lead to our destruction or the destruction of others if we pursue those things obsessively. Money is a prime example. It is often said that money is the root of all evil. This is not true. Money is not evil. Money is a tool like a hammer. Like a hammer, money can be used to create or destroy. The pursuit of money is not evil if money is being pursued in order to create things out of love. I attended a fundraising event recently for a transitional home. The sole purpose of the event was to gain money. It was not evil or wrong for the folks who run that home to pursue money in order to achieve the vision and dream God has placed on their hearts for that place. However if they start asking for more than they need and start raising money just to raise money well then they will have lost the plot.

In the same way the pursuit of what Qoheleth describes in Ecclesiastes 2:11-14 “the Good Life,” or in my context the “American Dream,” only becomes immoral if that life is brought about at the expense of another’s well being. If we pursue safety, comfort, sustenance, and a livelihood in a way that is harmful to another human being’s safety, comfort, sustenance, and livelihood then we are in the wrong. In the Lord’s Prayer we pray that God will give us our daily bread. The prayer is for our daily bread not my daily bread. It’s a communal prayer. Bonhoeffer points out that there is enough to go around for everyone. It is only when we take more than we need that folks go without. I can tell you that in my own life I’m taking part in harming another when I’m clinging too tightly to some perceived need. When my waking thoughts are consumed by a particular concern or want then I am in danger of over stepping my bounds and taking more than I need.  

Like the Zen master, God has chosen to wait until we empty our cups and become willing to receive what God has to offer us. God wants a relationship with us and nothing kills a relationship faster than one party forcing their will on another. God wants us be open to the worldview God has. To be able to see the world as God sees it, to weep when God weeps, to marvel at what God marvels at, to experience the world as God experiences it. God wants to be the Cindy Lou Who to our Grinch. The Grinch was only able to really embrace Christmas when he let go of his opinions and prejudices and opened his mind and heart. Ecclesiastes can help us acknowledge the limits and fleeting nature of wisdom, labor, good times, and life in general and let go of our pursuit of those things. It is only from that point that we will be open to the life God has to offer us. Ecclesiastes helps us to see that once we empty ourselves of the belief that money, wisdom, toil, or revelry or the like will give us meaning we are ready for God to fill our cups.

Have a good one,

Carl

Life, Death, and the Futility of Everything: Part 3

Hey All,

Today we pick up with the first passage in Ecclesiastes to look at wisdom; Ecclesiastes 1.12-18:

 ¹² I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. ¹³ I applied my mind to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under the sun. What a heavy burden God has laid on mankind! ¹⁴ I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

 ¹⁵ The crooked cannot be straightened;
   what is missing cannot be made up.
 ¹⁶ I said to myself, “Look, I have increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.” ¹⁷ Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.
 ¹⁸ For with much wisdom comes much distress;
   the more knowledge, the more pain.

Verse 12 serves as the formal introduction for Ecclesiastes with Qoheleth invoking the Solomon imagery we discussed last week. The reason to use Solomon as window dressing for his world is simply that if anyone would know the highest of highs and lowest of lows that this futile life has to offer it would be Solomon. During his reign Solomon reached the very pinnacle only to end his reign in ruin. If you've seen Scorsese's The Aviator you've seen something akin to Solomon's trajectory. Qoheleth moves on to the mission statement in verse 13 to apply his mind to study, using wisdom to view all that is done under the sun. The verse ends with a summary of Qoheleth’s findings. The summary illustrates Qoheleth’s unflinching look at creation. Even God will be brought into Qoheleth’s gaze.

Qoheleth serves as a good example for us today in that we should not be afraid to ask hard questions, to look unflinchingly on everything, to be “as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves” (Matthew 10:16). Qoheleth is an exemplary model of a wise serpent and yet, as is often the case, Qoheleth is a crap dove. This is important to note as we continue our journey into Ecclesiastes. Qoheleth has many things to teach us, show us, reveal to us, nevertheless we must remain discerning and fully present as we wade further in. I find that when approaching scripture I must remember to view it ultimately through the lens of Love. This is the only way I know to find something resembling the balance of wise serpent and gentle dove. To do otherwise too often leads me to despair and that is not my goal for us today. The goal is to look on the world as it stands under the sun and hopefully arrive at a place of acceptance.

¹⁴ I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

 ¹⁵ The crooked cannot be straightened;
   what is missing cannot be made up.

My knee jerk reaction is to recoil at verses 14 and 15. I so desperately want to believe that Qoheleth is wrong here. Seventeen different Bible verses flash in my mind contradicting this simple observation. It is only when I remember that Qoheleth is limiting our view to things under the sun that I begin to adjust my view and see what Qoheleth is pointing to. When I look at the world we live in I begin to see Qoheleth’s point. What is crooked cannot be straightened out. What is missing cannot be made up for. I look at the time I’ve spent in the trenches of alcoholism and addiction and see all my brothers and sisters who were brought down in spite of very real desires to quit. I remember the bloated bellies in Africa. I see the arms scarred by cigarette burns. I see the eyes of victims. I remember Christmas Eve 1999.

I was stationed in Okinawa Japan at the time. I was a Combat Photographer in the Marines. One of the duties my unit was assigned to was to take crime scene photography for the Military Police. I was low man on the totem pole so I drew photog duty over Christmas. I got the call around midnight to meet the Corporal out front with my camera. When he showed up I asked what we were looking at and he muttered something about domestic abuse. When I got to the station I was escorted back to a room by a Staff Sergeant who told me to make sure I took pictures of everything, every cut, every scrape, every bruise, everything. I think he saw that I was scared and he asked me if I could handle it. I said I could. So, I walk into the room and before me was a man covered in cuts, bruises, and scratches. The dude looked busted up. Apparently he and his wife had an argument and she snapped. I’ll never forget the embarrassment and pain in his eyes. He made a bad joke about falling down the stairs into a door knob. I introduced myself and explained to him that I had to take pictures of him and the importance of me documenting everything. The wonderful thing about a camera is once you’re looking through that view finder you kind of check out. Everything else falls away and “the shot” is all that matters. After about 10 minutes I’ve got every cut, bruise, and scratch. I quickly said goodbye and walked out the door. As I was coming out the wife was being escorted down the hall and she noticed me and started cussing me out. Once I got home I dropped the camera and pager off with another Marine. I sat down opened a beer, lit a cigarette, and started shaking.

Up until this point I knew humans could be swine but it was more of a theoretical knowledge based on facts I’d heard about on the news, WWII pictures, and hearsay. Now I had seen it for realsees. I went on to take and develop far worse crime scene pictures but for whatever reason that Christmas Eve is the touchstone I return to as the example of just how crooked the world is and how things cannot be made straight. Abuse cannot be undone. A stolen childhood cannot be returned. A violation cannot be erased. The blood on our hands never really comes off. Some wounds are so deep the scars will always be present. There are no take backs or reset buttons. What is crooked stays crooked and there’s nothing we can do about it.

  ¹⁸ For with much wisdom comes much distress;
   the more knowledge, the more pain.

The more we learn about the world around us the easier it is to despair. The more we open ourselves to the struggles of our brothers and sisters the more we sense in some very real ways just how broken this world is. The distress and pain that Qoheleth identifies is rooted in the knowledge that we can’t make things okay. We know the world is not okay and that no matter how much we pour out of ourselves at best we’re still screaming at the tide to change. We’re never going to be smart enough. We’re never going to get it all right. The more wisdom we gain the more in touch we’ll be with just how ignorant and small we really are. We’re not strong enough, wise enough, good enough, or big enough to make things right. The big brother and pastor in me wants to skip ahead to Chapter 12 and offer up some platitude about how God works in mysterious ways and how all things are being made new. But you know what? The children of that couple will always remember that Christmas Eve in Japan. They will never forget the way those tears tasted. That husband will always remember the feel of his wife’s blows. The wife will always taste the anger. That Christmas Eve happened, it’s in the books, the parents may reconcile, amends may be made, justice may even be served, but none of that can add the love and grace that was missing. None of that straightens out the crookedness of that night.

The best thing I can do for my fellow brothers and sisters is bear witness. To stand up, accept that the world is all manner of broke, acknowledge that things are not as they should be. I can admit that their pain is valid. Recognize that those events that are the root of such pain happened and that their pain is real. I should not brush it off as being in the past, not that bad. Nor should I state with a certainty that I cannot possibly posses that it will get better, or that it’s all a part of God’s plan. It’s not my place to try and make it right, it is in my place to love and allow folks the dignity and space so that they may come to grips with the crookedness of the world and grieve all that it is lacking.

Have a good one,

Carl

Life, Death, and the Futility of Everything: Part 2

Hey All,

Today we begin our trip through Ecclesiastes. We’re looking at Ecclesiastes in order to understand what we can expect from a life lived in the world between Genesis 1 and Revelation 21. Last week we laid out the “where” and the “why” of this trip. Let’s now look at the “who” and the “how” of this journey and end with the Teacher’s opening salvo.

We are introduced to the writer of Ecclesiastes in verse 1: “The words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem” Like all of Ecclesiastes this is misleading and slippery. Traditionally Ecclesiastes has been attributed to Solomon. Almost all scholars agree today that the writer of Ecclesiastes was most definitely not Solomon. The writer is indentified as “The Teacher” which in Hebrew is Qoheleth and it means collector of sentences, teacher, and speaker to an assembly. Qoheleth has a bit in common with Shakespeare in that no one can prove definitively that he ever existed and his works, in some circles, are considered to be the efforts of a group rather than a lone human being.

In 1898 C.G. Siegfried put forth the idea that as many as five writers were represented in Ecclesiastes. One of the reasons for this approach is that Ecclesiastes seemingly contradicts itself. In one section Qoheleth states that he hates life (2:17) and yet it another it is apparently better to be a live dog than a dead lion (9:4). There is no unanimous agreement for Ecclesiastes authorship. What is clear is that there are at least two folk's contributions in the book. The bulk of Ecclesiastes is written in the first person by Qoheleth which covers Chapters 1-12:8 while 12:9-14 are an epilogue written by another author. For our purposes here we’ll go with Qoheleth as the identifier of the writer of Ecclesiastes and the writer of the epilogue as a father or mentor reading Ecclesiastes to his son or mentee (12:12).

If Ecclesiastes wasn’t written by Solomon then why bring Solomon up at all? It’s important to first acknowledge that writers of antiquity played a lot faster and looser with “facts” than we do today. Well…some folks from today still play pretty fast and loose with facts. Anyway writers would write under pseudonyms of famous individuals to invoke images, emphasize authority, or to acknowledge a source for what they were writing. The reason Qoheleth conjures up the image of Solomon in the minds of his readers is to create a context for what he’s about to write. Solomon was considered the wisest man to ever live (1 Kings 3) and yet his reign ended in disgrace (1 Kings 11:9-13). If anyone would know the highest of highs and lowest of lows that this futile life has to offer it would be Solomon. So it is Solomon that serves as the window dressing for Qoheleth’s worldview. In my mind the voice of Qoheleth is that of Tom Waits: God's world weary carnival barker. Mr. Waits has never been one to shy away from the futility of life:

Let’s now turn to how Qoheleth approaches Ecclesiastes.  The Jewish understanding of the world at the time had three distinct realms: the heavenly realms inhabited by God and the angels, Sheol the realm of the dead, and the world “under the sun,” the land of the living, Earth. Qoheleth is exclusively interested in creation as it stands “under the sun.” This exclusivity limits our perception of the world to see how it stands independent of the heavenly realms or Sheol.  Those realms are mentioned only from the perspective of one who remains firmly under the sun. Qoheleth has looked at the world and attempted to discern some rational sense evident in the workings of the world through purely human eyes. The search has proven futile. The various pursuits this life has to offer, when viewed as an end unto themselves, are meaningless and fleeting. Take it Q!

 ² “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
   says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
   Everything is meaningless.”
 ³ What do people gain from all their labors
   at which they toil under the sun?
⁴ Generations come and generations go,
   but the earth remains forever.
⁵ The sun rises and the sun sets,
   and hurries back to where it rises.
⁶ The wind blows to the south
   and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
   ever returning on its course.
⁷ All streams flow into the sea,
   yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
   there they return again.
⁸ All things are wearisome,
   more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
   nor the ear its fill of hearing.
⁹ What has been will be again,
   what has been done will be done again;
   there is nothing new under the sun.
¹⁰ Is there anything of which one can say,
   “Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
   it was here before our time.
¹¹ No one remembers the former generations,
   and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
   by those who follow them.

Not exactly the St. Crispin Day Speech is it? You can almost hear the world inhale and exhale with each line. The sun rises and the sun sets. The wind blows south and back around north again. It has gone on long before we got here it’ll probably go on long after we’re gone. Nations rise and crumble. Scenes thrive and die. Roses bloom and wither. Cornel West is fond of saying, “we’re beings towards death, we’re featherless two-legged linguistically conscious creatures born between urine and feces whose bodies will one day be the culinary delight of terrestrial worms” (Cornel West on Truth). Life begins with a violent push, a burst of light, and a smack on the butt, which is followed by a long low crawl through hostile territory, and ends as we, alone once more, fall exhausted into our graves. The world will barely notice our passing. No one is remembered. Even for the ones who get remembered for a time it must be asked; is it them who is remembered or is it a spectre of them that is distorted by the grime of humanity and time that is remembered more than the actual individual ever could be? Yes we’re all unique snowflakes. However, in the unrelenting blizzard of time we all pretty much look the same.

With the 1^st eleven verses Qoheleth firmly establishes that this life is hebel; a breath that is soon forgotten. The logical response to this is despair. Yet I believe that we must stare this cruel fact in the face and come to a place of acceptance with it. As we established last week this life we have is a breath preceded and followed by billions of other breaths. Nevertheless it is the only breath we’ll ever get and so what we do on our journey from crib to crypt matters a great deal. The great lesson to learn while we live is how to die.

We learn to die by examining the life we’ve lived in order to better direct the life we’ve got left. To comprehend our strengths, acknowledge our weaknesses, explore our dreams, come to grips with our nightmares, identify our defects, and polish our skills. To fully embrace our fleeting life is to accept uncertainty as the reality in which we live. During our time here under the sun we probably will not capital “K” Know anything. By that I mean humans are limited creations with the spark of the infinite. We know there is more to creation than we can ever possibly know. Learning to die is accepting our inability to fully comprehend anything. What we will see as we move forward with Qoheleth is that we are not in a place to discern what a fully worthwhile endeavor is. Once this is accepted we can then begin to live a life with a proper perspective free from the obsessions, fixations, cravings and addictions that so desperately want to drag us down. 1^st up will be wisdom. Until then, as all ways…

Have a good one,

Carl

Life, Death, and the Futility of Everything

Hey All,

The story of the bible begins in a garden. There is a harmony and rhythm to it. Like at the outset of a new romance there is a palpable sense of excitement. Everything is new, exciting, and unnamed. The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual are all jumbled together not yet haphazardly packed away in their own boxes. The supernatural is intertwined with the natural. The Divine walks with humanity and there is no shame. Then a conversation goes sideways. Choices are made and that tranquility is shattered.

The story of the bible ends in a city that descends into that fractured reality and as a result all of creation is restored to the intended order. The lion lies down with the lamb. The last are first, the peacemakers blessed, the oppressed are saved. The powerful are humbled. Every tear is wiped dry. Love reigns supreme. Once again all of creation is in harmony with God.

The book of Ecclesiastes is how things are here in the middle of the story. Everything is not okay. The kids are not all right. The lion eats the lamb. The poor are last. The wicked win. The good are beaten, tortured or take part in torture. The good are oppressed, and killed. The victorious march on the bones of their enemies. Forget “winter is coming.” Brothers and Sisters, winter is here. To top it all off, the reality is that everything we do good or bad is hebel. Hebel in Hebrew is breath. Ecclesiastes acknowledges that everything we do is a breath, a puff of air, a wisp, a vapor, intangible, fleeting, fading, and meaningless. After all what is a breath? We take thousands of breathes a day without even thinking about them. The only breath that really matters is your last one.

What the teacher in Ecclesiastes is trying to convey is that your life is a breath surrounded by 6,900,000,000 other breaths. Those breaths are the result of billions of other breaths. What you do with your breath isn’t going to amount to much. But it is the only breath you’ve got. So what are you going to do with it?

For the next 6 weeks we’re going to wade knee deep into Ecclesiastes and explore the different traps, pitfalls, valleys, mountaintops, achievements, and pursuits this fleeting life has to offer us and be ever reminded to enjoy it because it’s the last breath we’ll ever take.

Have a good one,

Carl

Anchors, Action, and Dependence on God

Hey All,

  The anchor is a symbol of hope. The anchor is a steady support against the push of the ocean. The anchor keeps you in place in spite of the storm that rages. Thomas Merton wrote that the anchor is “…to signify stability in hope: the theological virtue of hope, dependence on God.” Dependence on God is a tricky proposition. Dependence on God is a natural assumption of the Christian religion and yet in practice it is an exceedingly difficult line to toe. The submission required by a dependence on God is not always apparent and must live in tension with the God given abilities at our disposal.

The decision to act or not act is too broad and even misleading. To not act, after all, is an action all in itself. The temptation to do nothing is appealing in that at least on some level our conscience is assuaged and we rationalize that our inaction grants us some plausible deniability. No less a temptation is the call to charge headlong into action with an overzealous faith in our understanding of the cover of grace.

This seems, at least in my mind, to direct us to the importance of prayer and study. Not to compile some dogmatic lists of do’s and don’ts. Rather to recognize the tension we live in and our own inability to fully perceive Creation as it stands in God’s eyes. Out of our limitations we can recognize the need for Divine input. In our abilities we recognize the call to act. To discern the Godly course we must not cling too firmly to either one of these or any misguided notions of right or wrong. We must learn to pray without ceasing as Paul puts it. We must learn to seek the Divine in each moment. To do this requires that we slow down. When we slow our pace it gives us the time needed to breathe in the moment and give the Spirit a chance to move in the gaps of our limitations.

In Acts 3 Peter and John encounter a man who had been crippled his whole life on their way to the temple. When the man calls out to them for money the scripture says that Peter and John fixed their eyes on him. Now in Greek that phrase, “Fixed his eyes on him,” is atenizō it means to look at something intently, to fully give your attention to something. Peter and John are not caught up in the frantic rush of their plans. They are present in the moment and are willing to give this stranger their undivided attention. Peter heals the man. In this story we see that they were not so caught up in their own notions of what they ought to be doing that they were able to see the needs of others. Peter and John were seeking the Divine in each moment.

By slowing down we give God the chance to move. By slowing down we are able to perceive our own limitations and the need for a dependence on God. By slowing down we can catch glimpses of the world as it is and the world as it can be. We become attuned to the beautiful tragedy all around us. We become aware of the overwhelming amount of work to be done, our inability to affect much of anything, and out of that awareness we can see the need for God to be our anchor.

Have a good one,

Carl